Comedy writer and former “Upright Citizens Brigade” performer Julie Klausner has a new book out. Called: “I Don’t Care About Your Band: What I Learned from Indie Rockers, Trust Funders, Pornographers, Faux Sensitive Hipsters, Felons and Others,” it contains her complaints about inferior men and beta males.
To quote from the story in the Miami New Times:
Like most of us, she spent her twenties ricocheting from douchebag to douchebag, and she reveals every crappy moment in her dating memoir I Don’t Care About Your Band: What I Learned from Indie Rockers, Trust Funders, Pornographers, Faux Sensitive Hipsters, Felons and Others. As expected, there are tons of laugh-out-loud lines delivered from Klaunser’s sharp-wit pen. More surprisingly is how cringeworthy tales of blow jobs with goths and bedbug-infested one-night stands are followed with sage observations. For instance, she points out the stark difference between guys and men. (As she writes, if Mad Men was called Mad Guys, it’d star Joe Pesci and not Jon Hamm.)
The book is due to be made into an HBO series produced by Will Ferrell.
Historically, leading men, at least in comedy, have featured either the feckless or the boorish: the Fred Flintstones and Bullwinkles and then useless beta males. In my book, I say date guys like Rowlf and Fozzi and not Kermit. Let me think about it.
Klausner is unhappy with Michael Cera as a leading man, finding him immature and not manly. Though she is quite happy with teen-age Molly Ringwald, girlish 80’s icon, as the leading lady for the late John Hughes movies.
It’s the teenage boys I’m worried about. They’re not going to college in numbers. They’re going to be angry — depending on who’s coming back from the war. There are charities for girls and I’m all for that, but ultimately, the real problem is the epidemic of inferior men – which is basically what my book is about.
But her real beef is with the “inferior men” she has to deal with. In other words, not being hot enough to get the commitment of an Alpha male, full time, or “change” the “vintage-eyeglass-frame-wearing guys from Greenpoint or Silver Lake, who pedaled along avenues in between band practice and drinks with friends, sans attachment, oblivious to the impending hazards of reality and adulthood.” Plus of course insulting attention from “inferior” and useless beta males.
This then, is the portrait (in extreme, somewhat) of the modern urban professional woman. Moving from “douchebag to douchebag” in fairly grotesque sexual situations, but terminally attracted to hipsters and trustafarians and indie band layabouts and felons and other Alpha males. Finding the “useless beta males” in her orbit both annoying and inferior. As ultimately the men she cannot gain commitment from or “change” into a tragically hip douchebag with money and responsibility, are inferior.
While of course, you’d expect this from say, Paris Hilton, who associates with Gummi Bear Davis and Fat Elvis Davis (grandsons of oilman Marvin Davis). The modern day equivalent of the Dick Van Dyke Show’s Rose Marie? Not so much.
Note too, her books are designed to appeal to women readers. So both the exploits of sexual hook-ups in the most degrading and debased nature, and the complaints about the useless beta males and other inferior men, hit a chord. Otherwise this stuff would not be published, nor would she have so many projects. Even if the chord is mostly in Hollywood, it is important. Because Hollywood shapes the culture.
Modern women who are attractive but no great beauty, face a quandary. They can have access to “douchebag after douchebag” as the writer put it, Alpha males who will happily bed them or exploit them to pay the bills if they are layabout indie musicians in lame bands. But only the most beautiful women, can secure the commitment of an Alpha with money as well as options, and then only when they couple with an aging Alpha (think Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas, or Annette Benning and Warren Beatty.)
After all, an Alpha is by definition, a man who can have many women. So he has many options. He will exploit them fully. Women are drawn, inexorably, to men who have the approval of other women, particularly those with a high partner count (other women slept with him, he must be GOOD!) This is hard-wired. The inferior men, the useless beta males, are not even on their radar. Nor will they be, ever. Women don’t need anymore, a Kitchen Bitch.
Yet the qualities that women like Klausner desire, along with the sexiness, are found only in beta males, for the vast majority. Only a beauty like Catherine Zeta Jones marrying a much older Alpha at the end of his string, can expect faithfulness or even tenderness, sustained. This is the nature of the sexual marketplace. The freedom comes with a cost, and the winners exist only at the expense of the losers. The sexual marketplace, after all, is not like others. Men cannot “create” new women out of demand, and a value of a woman sexually and romantically decreases with age (as do that of men). A woman with many lovers is worth far less than one with fewer, and even for men there comes a point when too many is too many. Though indeed it comes later for them than women, given the aura of pre-selection dominant among women’s decision making. But for winners to exist in the marketplace (maximizing their partner counts and freedom) there must inevitably be losers.
Average women are now no longer shamed (by more beautiful and Alpha women) from sharing the few desirable men. Be they indie rockers, trust funders, felons, pornographers, and hipsters. These are the men after all, Klausner chose to sleep with. Her book was not titled: “Accountants, Actuaries, Engineers, Programmers, and Managers: Boring Beta Nice Guys I Slept With.” Those guys go home to their porn collection, while a few male winners go home with a new girl every night.
The biggest losers in the new Sexual Marketplace are ordinary guys, who live a life of involuntary celibacy in intermittent spurts, unless they can generate their inner asshole, and become at least for a while, the dominant, jerky, asshole that professional urban women like Klausner craves. Is Klausner an outlier? Certainly. Most professional women don’t behave the way she does in outrageous degree. But it is certainly there, the preference for jerks and a-holes, just not as publicly expressed and likely not as thoroughly lived, as Klausner. But there, as the white-hot reaction for her book and HBO series shows.
Next up as losers, are the most beautiful women, who have to put up with cheating, endemically, from Sandra Bullock to Elin Nordgren. Their dominant Alpha a-hole husbands often choose less lovely hook-ups, because they simply crave variety and convenience. Of course these women could have married an accountant or someone of far lower social standing and power, but they chose naturally a man equal or better than their own, and with masculine power to match their feminine beauty. Thus not just discreet cheating, but massive amounts of it, in various forms. From John Edwards to Bill Clinton to Gavin Newsome (now California’s Lt. Governor) to Eliot Spitzer to Mark Sanford, this is the cost for the beautiful women married to the most powerful men.
Winners, are of course, the women like Klausner, attractive but no great beauties, who can rack up sex with men they would never have been able to have before. No wonder this group, professional urban women, are the greatest advocates of the current social and sexual system. And no wonder they have nothing but contempt for the Kitchen Bitch and useless beta males.
What beta males offer, which is the potential (but not guarantee) of companionship, faithfulness, and help in child-rearing, really is not important. Klausner’s book, in exploiting as she puts it, the 18-34 demo, is proof of that. It is a memoir of the bad boys she slept with (including felons apparently), not a good guy she ended up marrying. Absent from the book is a path to marriage and family, something very different from what women were interested in, fiction-wise, even thirty years ago.
This cannot be emphasized enough. Fiction appealing to women, overwhelmingly, does not focus on marriage and family, but rather bad boy hookups and degradation, along with rage at useless, beta males and other inferior men, as Klausner puts it.
Indeed, dig deeper and and see that is nerdy White guys who are Klausner’s problem (and women like her).
“What I say in the book is the white, nerdy, sensitive guy is not the minority anymore,” Julie said. “Between tech jobs and the creative establishment, I mean, they are the ones who feel repressed but they are actually high status.”
Julie explained how the “white, nerdy, sensitive” guy, who is most in control of the comedy world, is not the nice, non-threatening person a lot of women think he is.
“There is this book ‘Guyland’ by Michael Kimmel [that says] how boys don’t really grow up to be men anymore, they mostly become ‘guys’ who play video games and live in a ‘frat house’ type of environment for the duration of their 20’s,” she said. “The kind of boy’s club I’m used to? It is definitely not a jock-y, frat-y kind of thing. They say ‘I’m sensitive and nerdy,’ but actually it’s like ‘You’re a huge child and you’re terrified of women, but you don’t like sports so you think that makes you less of a misogynist.”
Yep, from the woman who dated felons and trust-funders, the enemy is the nerdy White guy who is really a misogynist. Read: not high status enough. Klausner doesn’t have a problem with bad-boy Charlie Sheen, who held a knife to his wife’s throat, on Christmas Day. But she does have a problem with guys who are not dominant and masculine enough to hold her sexual interest.
Or rather, White guys who are not sexy enough for her. Its basically the equivalent of the frat guy “No Fat Chicks” refrain. Only “No Fat Chicks” extended to every woman who is not super-model thin. This is the attitude of sexual plenty. Never before have ordinary women had so much sexual access to dominant bad boys as today. No wonder the ordinary guys around them provoke them to rage and disdain and the nuclear missile “misogyny.” After all, they don’t need them. They can pick up a sexy bad boy any time.
“Any woman I know can smell a boyfriend a mile away. Women are intuitive, they know when a guy is interested but he’s not going to be there for her in that boyfriend-y way,” Julie said. “But if he wants to fuck you, and he’s attractive, obviously you’re going to go in that direction. And for people to say ‘Oh, you should have waited and he would have stayed’ it’s like, ‘No he wouldn’t have, and I wouldn’t have gotten laid.’ I’m still allowed to feel bad when he doesn’t do what he’s supposed to.”
Again, Klausner and women like her (probably most women on the Huffington Post) want a sexy bad boy. Just one devoted to her. She’ll trade sex with the bad boy in favor of “boring” life with a useless, White beta male.
And that is the other part of it. Klausner has no complaints about Hip Hop and Rap artists spouting off about bitches and hos. Nor the lurid imagery of most rap videos. Nor Mexican/Latin machismo. Nope. Her complaint is White guys are not macho tough and dominating enough. When of course, any masculine display by a White guy is allowed only if he is entirely outside the professional workplace. The macho assholes Klausner and most White female professional women crave, can only exist in the indie band, trust fund, hipster, and felon environments. Try that in the professional corporate workplace and you as an ordinary White guy get fired. Fired fast. Complaining about White guys not being as tough and as dominant as a Hells Angel’s biker is like a guy complaining that the girls at the mall are ten pounds overweight, and are not in fact supermodels.
Indeed the hatred of nerdy white guys gets overt:
The “mousy” girl she’s talking about, the kind that every guy around her seems to want, is brought up in her book as the character Pam Beesely on “The Office.” She writes: “There’s nothing scary about Pam because there’s no mystery: she’s just like the boys who like her; mousy and shy. The ultimate emo boy fantasy is to meet a nerdy, cute girl just like him, and nobody else will realize she’s pretty.”
So who decided Pam was the epitome of emo-boy desire? Probably the emo-boys who get writing jobs on popular NBC sitcoms. Julie expressed her discontent with this domination of culture.
“Whenever culture isn’t being controlled by enough gay people or Jewish people, I always get nervous,” Julie said. “I feel like the whole ‘Pam’ thing is a result of straight, angry nerds taking over the world, frankly. And the gays and Jews, look… We know what we’re doing; we’ve done this for years.”
Of course, Klausner would not like culture being controlled by Jewish guys like Shuster, or Siegel, or Lee, Kane, or Kirby, or Mayer. No Superman, Batman, Hulk, or Captain America for her. Funny, how when nerdy, non-gay Jews created a whole pulp industry, or the modern Hollywood, their model of masculinity was Superman, or Captain America, or Batman, or Jimmy Stewart, or John Wayne. Of course, in the same breath, Klausner worships Tina Fey. Who is definitely neither gay nor Jewish. Klausner’s beef of course is with too many nerdy White writers. Who just are not hot and dominating enough for her.
Why does she care who the emo-boys find “pretty?” Considering her disdain for them? The answer of course is that Klausner herself is not exactly a knock-out. Her words about Tina Fey needing to lose 30 pounds before going on the air are revealing, and empathetic, and she herself in her pictures does not look like a drop-dead beautiful woman. And yet, she still racked up the bad boy count. Even an ordinary woman can rack up the frequent flier miles with the bad boys. Leaving her equivalent male counterpart with porn or World of Warcraft. She wonders why emo-boys and slackers never grow up? Why should they? What’s the reward? Disgust they’re not gay from the bad-boy addicts? Being an honorary gay for a day?
Klausner’s ideal society would be comprised of a few bad boy Alpha Male White guys, plenty of non-Whites and all the beta males turned gay. So they won’t bother her and be instead politically correct. Since most of PC is designed to channel “evil Male White energy” into a denatured and de-masculinized emo-boy dead end, that at least “stops racism” and such. Since every White guy who is not Alpha is a threat. A threat to hit on her, quite likely, which most SWPL women, urban professional White women, find revolting and sickening.
This explains, by the way, the gender gap for White women voting. White women will always vote more Democratic than White Men, because a non-insignificant portion of White women have nothing but contempt for White guys who are useless beta males. Not hot enough for them. Most half-way attractive White women would prefer all White guys be either hot, dominating Alphas, or Gay. Hence the love for gays and disdain for Straight White Guys Who Are Not Charlie Sheen. Professional White women simply detest the 90% of White guys not on their sexual radar, for obvious reasons, and detest everything that these White guys like and stand for. Not the least of which is anything to the right of Tina Fey. Who is the default taste-maker for the White female professional class.
Again, while Klausner is more extreme than most White professional women, she is not expressing anything that is not fairly common among most of them. Disdain for White beta males (and implicit approval for pretty much any non-White guy?) Check. Hatred for “useless beta males?” Check. Love of the gays and hatred of Straight White Guys Not Charlie Sheen? Check. Disappointment that all the douchebags she slept with would not “change” for her? Check! A dubious and checkered sexual past making her a poor bet for a long-term relationship? Double check! A taste for the slumming side (including felons?) Triple Check! Yes while Klausner is more extreme than most, she is not outside the pale. She’s not subject to ridicule and hatred the way, say Sarah Palin is. Salon does not make fun or her, nor do New Yorker writers say of her, as they do of Palin, that hearing her voice makes a piece of their soul die!
White women will not change their general hatred of beta White guys until and unless they all turn into variations of Charlie Sheen. I.E. dominant in some way, complete assholes, who are nevertheless terribly sexy (because they break through PC behavior bs to be completely masculine a-holes). While still of course conforming to PC beliefs generally. As does 9/11 Truther Charlie Sheen (it only makes him more attractive to women, he’s getting great ratings among his almost exclusively female audience on Two and A Half Men). Since that will happen, well never, the same fairly large (around 8-5 percentage points in the White female vote) split towards Democrats will happen.
Thus, any desire for Conservative votes among Whites MUST take far more of men. White professional women like Klausner will always vote their hatred of nerdy Straight White guys who insulted them by expressing a sexual/romantic interest* in their votes. Thus greater votes among same nerdy White guys is the only possible outcome for victory. Non-whites being futile territory since Democrats/liberals can always outbid conservatives with anti-White guy measures spreading pork, preferential discrimination (against White guys) and benefits (no White guys need apply) to win their votes.
Conservative Republicans need to take note. White Professional women will never vote for them any more than Tina Fey (their heroine) will. They need to hit the slacker guy, the emo-guy, with appeals to embrace their inner asshole and “be a jerk. Vote Conservative!” The way beer commercials push outrageous but funny behavior.
*It is an insult, for most semi-attractive women, to be hit on by guys their own attractiveness level who are not dominant A-holes. Because it implies they are on that level of attractiveness, not the level they pencil themselves in, as the most beautiful, because they can sleep with Alpha A-holes. Because average looking women can nab (for a while) that tattooed biker, or indie rocker layabout, or the trustafarian, or the hipster, all of whom have a lot of other women, they figure they are more beautiful and desirable than they are. They find it gravely insulting for an average guy, of their own status and attractiveness, to express an interest in them.