Breaking the Twilight Fantasy

For all the best laid plans in Hollywood, sometimes real life just happens. So with the breaking of the Twilight fantasy, i.e. the “cheating” scandal of actress Kristin Stewart, with no-name director Rupert Sanders (who prior to directing Stewart in “Snow White and the Huntsman” had only video game commercials under his belt). A billion Twitard voices cried out, and were silent:

But such are the dangers of catering to hypergamous fantasies among the female audience. Real life sometimes happens. Given that these fantasies afflict millions of young women around the globe with idiotic ideas about men and life, it is interesting to see how the shattering of their illusions will play out. The woman in the video, is really unhappy about her own fantasies being destroyed. Not any personal decision made by a famous actress that will undoubtedly hurt her career.

I don’t think the whole thing was a ploy. While longstanding rumors about the true orientation of both Robert Pattinson, and ex-girlfriend Kristin Stewart, have swirled around, for both the affair by Stewart with married and forty something director Rupert Sanders has been a career disaster of unmitigated proportions. Coming shortly before the release of the final Twilight movie. Box office will be worse for the affair, not better. After all, the movie sells the fantasy that ordinary girls can get the aloof, alpha male asshole of their dreams. If they just hold out.

No one dreams of adultery with a married, two kids director nearly twice their age, with all the sexiness of a burnt piece of toast, and with no real power or fame himself. Sanders is a first time movie director. Not only is Robert Pattinson a bigger player in Hollywood, heck Kellan Lutz is a bigger player. Who? You ask? Exactly.

Shattering that fantasy will cost Stewart dearly. Gone, the movie roles as the young ingenue fantasy figure for young women. Gone the starring roles as the heroine. Gone, the power of big paydays coming off a big finish to the Twilight movies. Now, she’s Ashley Greene. Who? You Ask? Exactly. Kristin Stewart, for the unspeakable crime of showing up the illusion of snagging that Alpha ahole in “true love” fashion and making the Twilight series a mockery even to its own fans, will occupy a role in the hearts of American women somewhere between Snooki and the seventh marriage of Kim Kardashian.

Angelina Jolie at least “accomplished” something by “stealing” Brad Pitt from “good-girl” Jennifer Aniston. Pitt at least was/is a prize, Jolie that glamorous figure of bad-girl charm mixed with Third World kid adoption, that women love. An eternal love triangle with the figures that women love to read about in the Supermarket gossip mags at the checkout counters. The good girl done wrong (Will She Find Another Man!), the bad girl gone good (Does Brad Plan to Leave!) the headlines shout. Excitement and glamor in humdrum lives. Stewart by contrast shot herself in the foot, killing the glamor for what amounts to adultery with a used car salesman.

And if rumors abounded about Pattinson before the whole affair, they’ll be doubled now. He too is damaged goods, no longer the hunky but commitment bound Edward Cullen, he looks a loser. And there is nothing the female audience despises more than a loser. He’ll get plenty of hate, too, from his former fans, as he gets blamed for “not being man enough” to keep their beloved fantasy alive. He too will suffer, in his career. Fewer leading roles, certainly not the romantic kind. Women don’t swoon to cuckolds. They find them contemptible for even existing. He too will suffer as the final Twilight film tanks, predictably, in the box office.

Right about now, Stephanie Meyer must be plotting her revenge. Her next novel no doubt will feature a spoiled, Hollywood actress who screws around with married men. And comes to a bad end. There go all her plans to build an empire rivaling JK Rowlings, all built on sparkly vampires and “true love.”

Pattinson’s handlers will have to go the George Clooney route. After being divorced twice, Clooney made it a point to be the dumper, not the dumpee. Better for his career as a leading man, after all. The female audience is unforgiving in that area in a way that the male audience doesn’t care. Stallone being a good example, Bruce Willis another. Willis audiences don’t care that say, Demi Moore dumped Bruce for Ashton Kutcher. That is not true for Clooney, he plays another kind of guy that appeals to a female not a male audience.

In some ways it is easier being an action star. The male audience only cares about how effectively you can portray an ass-kicker on screen that is not a bully (Stallone not Dennehy in First Blood). Your personal life, they’re just not that interested. And guys will forgive a lot if the action star stays in reasonably good shape, memories will allow some considerable slack for older action stars to kick ass in non physical ways. Edward Woodward as the Equalizer is a good example. Of course, you need to be able to play menace effectively. Some guys just can’t do it. But some have noticed the difference Joseph Gordon-Levitt is trying hard to become an action star. He’ll probably fail, a fine actor, with great comic timing, I have not seen him play menace. Like Woodward could:

Set up for the scene: to break a corrupt cop, Woodward’s character on the Equalizer intimidates him in various ways with psychological warfare and then shoots him with a drug that induces fear and hallucinations.

You can be a portly guy in your fifties, and still play action roles effectively. If you can produce menace.

A guy whose entire appeal is based on being that not so obscure object of desire, that glittery Alpha vampire, well he’s toast when his real life girlfriend who played his in the movie figures a no name forty something married director with kids is a better option. His stock is damaged too. I don’t think for that reason the whole thing was a publicity stunt. Too damaging for their careers.

Sometime real life happens. And shatters illusions based on lies.

Can anything positive come out of the shattering of the Twilight illusion, or will the female audience cling ever deeper to lies about men, women, alpha males, and the comforting belief that for every woman, no matter how low her sexual marketplace value is, God and Hollywood have sent an Alpha male? Certainly the message to every guy is, if the number one drooled over actor in Hollywood can get cheated on by his girlfriend (of limited Hollywood beauty — she’s no young Catherine Deneueve or Raquel Welch though she is Hollywood pretty — swing around and you’ll spot a dozen like her) … with a guy who directed advertisements for video games, no less? Well then young man, its time to Game Up, Asshole Up, and instill fear and dread in your lady friend. If YOU want to keep her from the local tattooed bicycle messenger. Or indie musician. Perhaps for young women, an object lesson in thinking with your head before following urges found lower.

People do not treat prophets kindly. Because they fundamentally prefer lies, particularly the pretty ones, to the truth. The wise however, seek the truth because knowing gives a first mover advantage. And prevents you from doing stupid things. Buying Facebook at the IPO price. Screwing a first-time no-name director and destroying your “true romance” based career. Putting any faith in your Hollywood girlfriend’s fidelity. Or buying the romance Hollywood peddles.

I’ll take the action movies. No one really believed that Edward Woodward, as a man, was anything but an exceptionally skilled actor. That should be enough.

About whiskeysplace

Conservative blogger focusing on culture, business, technology, and how they intersect.
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17 Responses to Breaking the Twilight Fantasy

  1. Recently it was exactly the same scenario with Rose McGowan and Robert Rodriguez while filming “Grindhouse”. “Underworld” star Kate Beckinsale dumped her husband for Underworld director Len Wiseman. And then there’s Mila Jovavich and Paul Anderson with “Resident Evil”, Woody Allen with his shenanigans, Ingrid Bergman and Rossalini and so on back to the dawn of cinema, I imagine.

    Joan Crawford always made a point of seducing her directors because she thought it made for a good working relationship during shooting – and she would have more leverage to get her way on set.

    My wife was pretty peeved at Rodriguez when that story broke, naturally heaping the lion’s share of the blame on him (because he was older and had a wife and kids), but I pointed out to her, “look, in the movie she’s a ‘go-go- dancer’, doing a pole dance at the beginning of the film with plenty of sweaty close-ups. Are you telling me that, if you are the director, telling her how to thrust and pose and move, and are getting the lighting just right on her taut flesh, and daily looking at the footage of her in a lens, with the opportunity to make her as perfect and sexy as you can possibly imagine, AND she turns on the charm and lets you know she’s up for a good BANG, that you are going to turn that down??!! What guy is going to do that?” For a director – an artist – to have his muse transform from a passive vessel for his fantasies to an active seducer willing to service his cock – what could be more tempting?

    She agreed with me. Like it has been said before: women are the gatekeepers. They have to learn how – and when – to keep their legs closed.

  2. ErisGuy says:

    “Can anything positive come out of the shattering of the Twilight illusion”

    Yes. After a century of this nonsense, perhaps people will again give actors the respect they deserve.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Maybe Kristen can get the role for chick in 50 Shades movie.

  4. Johnycomelately says:

    I’d love to see a comedy version of this, a toothless vampire that gets cuckholded…

  5. cecil henry says:

    This really shows how this stuff is like pornography for women, and equally destructive.

    I mean seriously, who did what with whom?? And Why do I care, this is NOT a movie?

    I found it a little disturbing to watch this womans reaction, it being both so infantile and naive.

    There is no accountability and culpability for what is being sold to these women, nor any accountability for what these women are EAGERLY buying in to!!

    What is the real fantasy that she doesn’t want to believe??? What some actress does in real life is not part of the movie.

    Look at how this woman is so invested in this story that has nothing really to do with her. What exactly is the message that she hates so much?

    What does this ‘tragedy’ mean for this woman’s life, personally and directly. REALLY–if this was all harmless, the answer should be NOTHING.

    Kristen didn’t do anything to YOU girl. What ‘Kristen’ did is a reflection of her values and motivations. If you bought into the first part of the story then you are going to be on the hook for the consequences too.

    Entertainment is never ‘just’ fun otherwise why would it be so heavily invested in from both producer and viewer?

    And you dont; think there is political power in controlling the message in movies??

    You don’t think there’s reason to be concerned and angry that Hollywood is dominated by a mainly Jewish elite, and a limited political outlook.

    All this OMG!! garbage on the newsstands is not just diversion, its inculcating values into women.

    • whiskey says:

      Her life was so empty, it had to be filled with a fantasy, basically. That it has been broken perhaps, will force her to face up to her own life. A small chance. But sometimes that’s the only one we get.

  6. Amy says:

    will the female audience cling ever deeper to lies about men, women, alpha males, and the comforting belief that for every woman, no matter how low her sexual marketplace value is, God and Hollywood have sent an Alpha male?

    Yes, they will. Assuredly. I used to teach teenagers, and at the height of the Twilight zeitgeist. Twilight sucked them all in to the fantasy of being able to get an Edward. Bella was so identifiable, I suppose. I read about four chapters of the first book and realized that Meyers is a suck-ass writer of limited vision and talent and never picked it up again. Telling Team Edward that she was a horrible writer did nothing to sway them – at 30, I was already too old and out of touch to really appreciate what “a, like, great piece of literature!” Twilight was. I can cut the teens a bit of a break, though. That their other teachers were entertaining Twilight as literature and allowing girls to do presentations on the subject of Edward &co. and encouraging them to read the books just because, you know, reading of any kind is good, was a disappointment. “Shoot me now” was my daily thought as I entered the school.

    The fantasies will persist; at some point, a new series will come along to replace Twilight and a new “Edward” will appear to rescue a “Bella” and perpetuate the he-will-love-me-for-me myth.

    Personally, I thought that the Pattinson/Stewart “relationship” was one created by their handlers to enhance the illusion of the on-screen romance and boost the films’ box-office draw. Maybe I’m wrong; the fact that this story broke before the final film’s release possibly proves the relationship was not fake (though perhaps engaged in for all the wrong reasons).

    • Ah, the “reluctant readers”– yes, I think teens who are “reluctant” to read probably don’t have the mental equipment to handle what they *do* read in the first place. If they’re only ever going to read trash, perhaps it’s best that they not read at all, or no more than is functionally necessary to work, say, at the DMV.

      It seems clear that the three principals in the movies are gay or at least -leaning, besides a number of apparent gays or bi-s in the supporting cast (the “blind gossip” sheets insist the movie sets have been like Roman orgies), so it’s hard to figure the breakup’s timing if it was purely for show. Perhaps they’re both confused, or perhaps, after all, the public is (or just ahead of their self-awareness). I doubt anyone will get killed over this, but the sheer hold of this pabulum on the public imagination is a sorry sight.

  7. pb says:

    How many teens have started reading 50 Shades?

    • matt says:

      Don’t know about teens but my fellow female interns who are all college students can’t stop talking about it, tweeting about it, facebooking about it.

      • Just curious, and in all seriousness: do these girls have any notion of “Story of O”s existence, or the Anne Rice novels, or what have you?

        I’ve been chided recently for not looking into 50 Shades for anthropological reasons, having once followed women’s smut a fair deal.

        So I’ve no notion whether this is really a PG-13 joke, or some kind of crescendo in popularized hardcore decadence.

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  9. Sorry to come so late,but why the pessimism? Wasnt Pattinson getting sick of Stewart with all the young quim being thrown at him?I should think SO! Blonde,brunnette asian latina–he has it all at his fingertips. Maybe this is a good thing for him to get out from under this suffocating relationship with this fairly pretty but(from what Ive seen)decidedly boring asshole Kristen. Firts thing on the agenda:Fuck Rihanna. This will alpha him up quite a bit–(dont forget the condom,Rob!).Shouldnt be all that hard. If she will f*ck Ashton she should go for Rob. He must start fucking and doing it with wild girls. His career was starting to go down the “loo” already,as his two latest movies sucked and sunk w/o a trace. That crap about the circus was a flop,too. Lets face it,barring any huge developments,both of these modestly talented kids will be working as paramedics with Bobby Sherman( a strict taskmaster,I am told) soon enough. Or perhaps police officers under the guidance of Eddy Haskell??

  10. gx1080 says:

    Pattison has the biggest chance to recover. He can asshole up, and he has fame (which most guys don’t have). Though I will shed no tears at the (really funny) demise of the Twilight fantasy.

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